B&Q

B&Q
1 Leyton Mills,
London, E10 5NH

TWIRL AVAILABILITY: Unexpected
TWIRL STORAGE: In machine
TWIRL PRICE: 60p
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS: OK, I could just about accept Borders selling Twirls, but B&Q? Really? But, yes - in a vending machine on near the tills, they sell all sorts of chocolates and sweets in what I guess is intended as a way of silencing bored youngsters as they are dragged around, while their parents pick out the particular type of solid wood flooring boards they want for the front room. B&Q is amazing though, it's the perfect shop if you're a serial killer - they sell everything. In fact, I'm amazed any parent would need to resort to bribing their child with chocolate in B&Q - they sell AXES. If that's not enough to make a kid shut the fuck up, I don't know what is.

BORDERS

Borders
120 Charing Cross Road
London, WC2H 0JR

TWIRL AVAILABILITY: Unexpected
TWIRL STORAGE: On shelf
TWIRL PRICE: 65p
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS: Well, would you believe it? Twirls in Borders! What next? Soon they'll be selling BOOKS in TESCO. I suppose for the location, it's not an unreasonable price, but it all seems a bit pointless. I'd gone in to buy Wired (US edition), I also bought Smoke (and a Twirl, of course).

SARA'S NEWS

Sara's News
14 Bloomsbury Street
London, WC1B 3QA

TWIRL AVAILABILITY: Excellent
TWIRL STORAGE: In fridge
TWIRL PRICE: 55p
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS: Pretty good price, especially considering central location. Just look at that woman racing into the store, to buy a chilled Twirl, no doubt.

RUSSELL NEWS

Russell News
12 Great Russell Street
London, WC1B 3NH

TWIRL AVAILABILITY: Excellent
TWIRL STORAGE: On shelf
TWIRL PRICE: "Cad - Twirl @ 60p"
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS: An interesting price labelling system. Items are arranged by brand and hand-written index cards with neat little abbreviations and plentiful use of the "@" sign inform you of the prices. The price-labelling system isn't really very interesting, but it can be a struggle finding something different to say about every single sodding newsagent in London.

JOE'S NEWS

Joe's News
42 Store Street
London, WC1E 7DB

TWIRL AVAILABILITY: Excellent
TWIRL STORAGE: On shelf
TWIRL PRICE: 60p
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS: I went there just as the store was about to close and the man was bringing in the racks of postcards. I'm not sure if the man was Joe himself, but he was clearly pretty high up in Joe's News. Vice-Joe maybe. He engaged in some jolly banter with the woman in front of me, who was paying by card for something or other. "You don't know what you're missing!" she said. "I do!" he replied, laughing. I have no idea what they were talking about, although was impressed by his efficiency - as the card payment was processing, he rang up my Twirl and served me.

BROADWAY WINES

Broadway Wines
56 Broadway Market
London, E8 4QJ

TWIRL AVAILABILITY: Excellent
TWIRL STORAGE: On shelf
TWIRL PRICE: 49p
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS: Unbelievable price. Right in the middle of Broadway Market (where I had just bought a fantastic grey and black flecked double-breasted jacket for only a fiver). They sell organic booze too in case you're concerned about the use of pesticides when you're getting pissed up.

ROB BRYDON ON TWIRLS